It goes deeper and deeper this feeling
you know
of the metal against my skin padded by silicone
It prevents the pain my masochism needs

Why must I be punished but simply for existing
but that is not the whole truth
the truth, anything but the whole truth your honor
I deserve the lashings and the pain
And I am a pervert who enjoys the whip
as it lashes blood dried against my skin

I crave your drama and your rage before I can be quelled
And within my energy builds like a volcano
and I become a conduit of raw electricity
yet it has nowhere to go

So it converts to anger and desperation and lust and wild
and I am wild with these things that are dangerous

I curl into myself and the warmth of my red skin
I place somber beats in my headphones to blow out my eardrums
but the pain I feel and suffer from is no longer what is heard
but what is seen and what is created in my mind

Some of these memories must not be mine
yet they are here to tell me they are very real
and again I am the masochist, your honor
I allow the pain to flow into me as it turns to a warm glow
I invite the lashings once more and I praise
and I praise
I praise and praise you, thank you

Thank you for hurting me and making me recoil from a soft touch
and I lean instead into claws that dig into my skin
Thank you for finding me a home in a purgatory of burning pain
the white-hot pain of escape
for I am an escapist, your honor

I have hurt others with a blindfold covering my sight
and my mind tells me justice was served when it was not
when it was nothing more than confusion and psychosis

So I plead guilty, your honor
Bring me the delicious pain of defeat
that which makes me feel wild and dissociated from reality
Lick my skin with sharp and blunt instruments of carnage
and don't kill me too fast just yet
because my body is floating and I can see an idea of heaven
but my heaven and not your heaven
My place is in hell with my demons
for I love them and they have shown me love
much more love and kindness than those who call themselves angels
So your honor, cast me down and tie me in leather
Suspend me from walls of obsidian and bring your whip
your claws your knives your sharp tongue your glare that cuts through my soul

Leave me bare and expose my perversions and obsessions
and free my ghosts as they tell the truths I hold deep inside

Leave me here, your honor
For again, I plead guilty